been having really really weird dreams lately
about many different people
and keep having multiple dreams per night

Happy
To dream that you are happy, may be a compensatory dream and is often a dream of the contrary. You may be trying to compensate for the sadness or stress in your waking life.

Lost
To dream that you are lost, suggests that you have lost your direction in life or that you have lost sight of your goals. You may be feeling worried and insecure about the path you are taking in life. Alternatively, you may be trying to adjust and get accustomed to a new situation in which the rules and conditions are ever changing.

Hill
To dream that you are climbing a hill, signifies your struggles in achieving a goal. To dream that you are standing on top of a hill, signifies that you have succeeded in your endeavors or that you have now have the resources to complete a task at hand.
lol.. but i was lost on top of the hill. hmm

Driving
To dream that you are driving a vehicle, signifies your life's journey and your path in life. The dream is telling of how you are moving and navigating through life. If you are driving and cannot see the road ahead of you, then it indicates that you do not know where you are headed in life and what you really want to do with yourself. You are lacking direction and goals.

To dream that you drive off a mountain road, suggests that the higher you climb in life, the harder it is to stay at the top. You feel that your advanced position is a precarious one. It takes hard work to remain at the top. You may also feel that you are not able to measure up to the expectations of others.


and its so darn hot back here in singaporeeeeeeeeeeee!

the things people say can be so insensitive sometimes
feeling like crap again
maybe i should just talk to myself
and only myself
and i think.. my thoughts should reside somewhere else.

cheryl is very happy today
'cos she finally talked to someone whom she'd like to talk to in a long time (:

since when did my heart beat again that way?
it was supposed to be dead

havent been in the mood to express any emotions
when something "good" happens
the people around all seem to be celebrating or at least expressing their joy
and i'd just try to give a weak smile to go along
(try not to be a wet blanket)
but am i genuinely happy?
i have no idea, coz i just don't feel a thing.

even when something bad happens,
i feel numb
and yet i feel guilty for being so unsympathetic
so i try to show concern (sounds so hypocritical)
but i don't even know if i really am

what's real? what's false?
how do i really feel?
i can't tell.
i THINK i care
but why doesn't it FEEL like it?

feeling really anti-social..
and tired of having to do things just to try to express how i should feel
i just wanna hide in one corner and enjoy the quiet
maybe its time for walks just like in the past

and i don't think i expressed myself right. again.

i think something is seriously wrong with me this sem.
its like i keep zoning out during lessons though im trying v hard to pay attention
even during quizzes..
its fine when im studying for them and doing my own practices
but once it comes to the quiz.. i feel like i totally blank out and can't seem to get the right answers
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!!

Im sick of trying. Its not that i don’t care. Its just that no one else seems to give a damn about things. Everyone waits and waits. And nothing gets done.

And even when i try to do something to compromise, others just refuse to give in. I’ll just end up being stuck in the middle. Caring too much, and not being cared about.

Im sick of this shit. I wanna live in my own world, where no one gives a damn about me. (So i won’t have to give a damn about anyone else.)