the things people say can be so insensitive sometimes
feeling like crap again
maybe i should just talk to myself
and only myself
and i think.. my thoughts should reside somewhere else.

cheryl is very happy today
'cos she finally talked to someone whom she'd like to talk to in a long time (:

since when did my heart beat again that way?
it was supposed to be dead

havent been in the mood to express any emotions
when something "good" happens
the people around all seem to be celebrating or at least expressing their joy
and i'd just try to give a weak smile to go along
(try not to be a wet blanket)
but am i genuinely happy?
i have no idea, coz i just don't feel a thing.

even when something bad happens,
i feel numb
and yet i feel guilty for being so unsympathetic
so i try to show concern (sounds so hypocritical)
but i don't even know if i really am

what's real? what's false?
how do i really feel?
i can't tell.
i THINK i care
but why doesn't it FEEL like it?

feeling really anti-social..
and tired of having to do things just to try to express how i should feel
i just wanna hide in one corner and enjoy the quiet
maybe its time for walks just like in the past

and i don't think i expressed myself right. again.

i think something is seriously wrong with me this sem.
its like i keep zoning out during lessons though im trying v hard to pay attention
even during quizzes..
its fine when im studying for them and doing my own practices
but once it comes to the quiz.. i feel like i totally blank out and can't seem to get the right answers
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!!

Im sick of trying. Its not that i don’t care. Its just that no one else seems to give a damn about things. Everyone waits and waits. And nothing gets done.

And even when i try to do something to compromise, others just refuse to give in. I’ll just end up being stuck in the middle. Caring too much, and not being cared about.

Im sick of this shit. I wanna live in my own world, where no one gives a damn about me. (So i won’t have to give a damn about anyone else.)

what's the point thinking
what's the point being affected
cheryl.. "wake up your idea"
stop doing silly things
it's time to do something productive, like ur accounting tutorial